What People Who Don’t Get Us Get Us: Rants on Being Misunderstood

Christmas season is over for most people, and for some of us gift giving hasn’t ended. I personally just received a Christmas gift card today from friends whom I haven’t seen in a while. It was a restaurant gift card, which I am plenty sure Rob and I can make use of. So for the others, what do people who don’t get us get us? By us, I mean people with a particular sense of style. What do others give us in terms of style-related presents, recommendations, or comments?

They might say things like:

“This would look GREAT on you!”

“Oh yeah, she totally likes pink. or flowers. or sequins.”

And you think,

“Well yes, I like some things with those but not ALL of them!”

PUNK. If you like punk, post punk, steam punk, or other variations of punk (the look, the lifestyle, and hopefully the music) like I do, you probably like the clothes of Richard Hell, Karen O, old school Madonna, Ann Demeulemeester, etc. Instead they give you clothes that resemble what’s actually called emo: Avril Lavigne’s, black hair phase Ashley Simpson’s, and Paramore’s Hayley Williams’. Instead of rust and distress, they give you cute cartoon skulls and neon colored chalky hand drawn stars on a black background…ooh real scary.


90s. If you like the 90s look, which I have been admiring a lot this year, you probably like  a more refined version of the 90s’ clothes like how Luanna from Le Happy’s dresses. You take inspiration from Claire Dane’s character Angela from My-So Called life without actually dressing like her completely because that could get a little frumpy without modification. Instead others might think you like wearing PJs out, always wearing flannel and beanies and other things stereotypical. The 90s had good style too, apart from the bad ones.

LOLITA. If you like lolita, you probably feel or look best wearing a certain type of lolita—whether it be classic, sweet, goth, or punk. If you wear classic, some people might think that you are just really into really old vintage, without even knowing the time period (which in this case is Victorian and Rococo). If you are into sweet, others might just think you like cute and girly stuff period. Or Hannah Montana. They get you things that are pink, floral, and glittery. Though sweet lolita is cute, it is a combination of cuteness and mischief. A lot of folks don’t get that.


SWEET INDIE VINTAGE. I say vintage loosely, because all the things I listed above are from an older time (same way I use “indie” loosely). The sweet indie vintage look is what most fashionistas like right now. It’s like nothing else is fashionable to them (I guess I can’t blame them, because I went through that too). This could look like a bit mod or 40s with flirty dresses, knee-high socks, cat eye make up, secretarial Mary Janes, boat shoes, or oxfords. Most people who are keen on pop culture can think of Suzy from Moonrise Kingdom, because they somehow still get film style even if they don’t quite get fashion style. Some people just see the “sweet” part of what you’re wearing and totally ignore “indie” and “vintage.” I used to wear this style for about 2 years with an emphasis on 60s Parisian, and I had friends who kept thinking I like pink and girly things, and that was all I was to them. I don’t even really wear pink…especially not hot pink.


INDIE POP. The first person I think of when I think of indie pop clothing is Katie White from the Ting Tings. People who don’t get it will think you’re into hip hop or something. At one point in my life I wore indie pop clothes—colored tights and big bold 80s patterns. At that phase of my life, one of my friends picked up these really colorful and girly earrings and told me they were “so me.” I haven’t even worn earrings since early college, so I’m not sure how that even resembled me at all.

I know these complaints might sound a bit bratty, but you’ll only really “get it” if you’ve been a misunderstood victim like I have. This post is for those of you who need to have to go someplace else, including the WWW, just to be understood by like-minded people who live and breathe clothing. As much as you want to be thankful for people’s thoughtfulness, sometimes you can’t help but be just a little bit hurt by how wrong others perceive you.

Though we shouldn’t try to let others’ comments affect us negatively, how do other people think of you?


And oh, I just signed the pledge to shop second hand first by the ever cool Citizen Rosebud. Come join?