The Invisibility Cloak: The Desire to Be Noticed

One of my readers confessed that she was more apt to feel invisible when there were women around her showing a lot of skin. Flaunting your body is such a cheap way of attracting attention in which it takes little to no effort to be successful. Our liking to sensuality, men and women alike, is so automatic that it rarely demands clothing creativity. You can effortlessly accentuate certain parts of your body and receive instant gratification from wandering eyes. It’s easy… and lazy. If you want a real wardrobe challenge, start covering up (especially during the heat of the summer)!

I have to admit that dressing the way I do–a la modest–is not easy. It was especially difficult when I first made the decision to. It was a tug-of-war struggle between what I was used to and what I learned was modest. I still have the nature in me to want to go the easy route of attraction. It’s like preferring the internet over snail mail, a text over a phone call, or mac and cheese over Julia Childe’s beef bourguignon. Easy and cheesy.

We women desire love and attention. That’s just how God created us. It’s okay to want to be noticed and appreciated for the way we look. Nobody wants to feel physically insignificant even when we know our heavenly Father’s attention is what truly matters or that our inner beauty is more important. We can say the mantra of what matters most ten times a day, but we can still feel invisible and unappreciated for the way we look. Although it is true that inner beauty matters most, it shouldn’t be the only thing that does. I believe this idea creates such security around women and is the primary reason for “letting go” of their bodies– especially after marriage.

Dressing modestly doesn’t detract attention. You’re not wearing an invisibility cloak from Harry Potter, thank goodness. Covering up just prevents or lessens the wrong kind of attention. It’s dressing wisely. Doing it creatively with fashion is dressing wisely with a twist, a splash of lemon in an otherwise boring beverage.

To be honest, I think I’ve gotten more attention and appreciation from the way I dress now than when I used to dress like everybody else. I just hope that when other women notice that they realize that I’m not exposing a lot of skin or accentuating my curves, they will learn from what they see and incorporate that image into their clothing lifestyle. As all motives and lessons  learned, I hope that modesty values will eventually sink deep into their hearts. Modesty is ultimately an issue of the heart. I did not decide to dress modestly because I wanted to stand out. The appreciation and attention I received was just a by-product of my personal decision from a hard-earned lesson. I didn’t expect that at all. This is just my testimony, my vouching that you can still be noticed while dressing modestly.

I especially love it when little girls look up to me. It gives me so much hope for the next generation to carry out this modest revolution.

Comments

  1. says

    I love this post and tweeted about it. I feel the same about modesty. It’s so wonderful to read about your testimony and your strength in modesty. I really look up to you and want to encourage others to be modest. Thank you so much!

    • says

      Thank you so much, Heather! Be an example to other people around you as well. We are to be salt and light of the world. What’s easier than to cloth ourselves with our testimonies? :)

  2. says

    rachel! I love this post and the message you are trying to get across! I def think that flaunting urself definitely lends itself to possibly wandering eyes which in turn gives girls instand gratification, but really they aren’t respected for who they are. I commend you for dressing more modestly even tho it’s hot out!!

  3. says

    oh my,those are good words.
    It is just the way I feel.People wonder why I never show much skin or have a plunging neckline,don’t wear push-ups or make up.I can tell them why: I don’t want to lure stupid boys with my body.That is cheap and simple and…passé.
    Anyway,I love the point you’re making.

  4. says

    This post is so inspiring. I feel so insecure when I’m showing too much skin, I love clothes and layering and I think clothes make me feel very confident with myself… so it’s sad when some people feel invisible next to women who show a lot of skin.

    • says

      That’s interesting. I think I feel the same way about feeling more insecure when I show too much skin now. I was totally the opposite back then, but that was when I wasn’t as clever with fashion. I love layering, too! It just makes you look more sophisticated with the way you handle clothes.

  5. says

    i agree! it is never necessary to show absolutely everything. in fact, when someone compliments what i’m wearing for the clothes/style efforts i am apt to being more receptive that someone oogling my non-existent goods because i’m female. which is just gross.

    you look so summery, by the way. i love it.

  6. says

    I applaud you. When it’s 95 degrees in NYC weather, I will not be wearing half of what you are. I’ll have my midriff out and my cut off shorts on deck.

  7. Australia says

    I believe God wanted me to read this post…modesty has been a huge struggle for me lately and my mom is frequently giving me ‘the look’ when it comes to what I wear. I got myself on a slippery slope that’s gone past borderline. This was an encouragement to me and has inspired me to care more no matter what the situation and not matter what insults I may receive from those I’m around (usually girls). God bless!

    • says

      Hi Australia,

      I appreciate hearing from you! I was really no different from you. I know older women start with this phrase a lot, but I am really not that old. I am in my early twenties :) I’m just glad that I started dressing modestly this early. My mom used to give me the same looks you probably get from your mom, but interestingly enough, I made a choice based on my own personal experience way after my mom started picking on my clothes! So, I am glad that this is an eye-opener for you. We usually don’t listen when other people tell us what to do. I know because I’ve been there. You just have to experience it for yourself. Modesty is really not that bad. I think it’s sophisticated and very beautiful.

      I rarely get insults from girls on how I dress. I get raved most often. They probably don’t notice that I am modestly dressed. They probably just notice the fashion and compliment that. Do it with style. Girls will notice in a good way and even start to dress like you :)

  8. ~AnneGirl~ says

    Great article! Thank SO much for sharing! Our motives for dressing modestly are so important. Thanks for bringing that out! Also to keep focused on God’s rather than man’s attention. BTW, cute skirt. I like it. :)

  9. veterinary technician says

    Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

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