Modesty and Romance

Two posts ago, I talked about Lolita fashion and its roots from the Victorian age. Even taking bustiers into account, you have to admit that fashion back then was much more modest than today. A friend of mine likes to view dressing modestly as a way to feel like royalty–a princess finely dressed. Centuries might have affected fashion trends, but men’s minds have not changed over the years. This is not to say that men alone are evil. They were made to be visual, and women were made to desire love from men. We just have to cater to our nature of being like this in the right way. Immodesty is like junk food. It satisfies you temporarily and is never good for you. Showing skin to attract men (or even to compete with women) might get you the attention you want, but it is almost never love that you end up getting.

As I like to say, “Keep immodesty within the marriage bed!” Married women can get all the fun they want with lingerie as clothes for their husband’s eyes only! Ironically, I only really took the importance of modest fashion to heart when I got married. I’ve never really been happier with the way I carried myself since I started pushing away my insecurities by not wearing clothes that attracted the wrong attention. I realized that I gave away part of myself to other men through the way I dressed, and essentially stole from my husband what he alone should’ve cherished.

To the single women out there, it is best to start now. I understand how hard it is to even attract men in this day and age, where sexually infused fashion is rampant, but it will pay off one day to be with someone who cares deeply about who you are, enough to protect you from himself. When you incite a man to lust, you do not win him. Lust takes over, and it is greedy. Like any type of greed, it wants more. Do not expect that luring a man with lust will keep him faithful to you. Modesty is not really the end-all to lust, but it certainly helps to keep minds pure.

In addition to its benefits to single men and women, dressing modestly can help couples in a small way by not adding to the temptation that husbands and even pastors have everyday to look at other women lustfully. Let’s not be greedy and steal their minds away. Lust really eats up men, and contrary to the momentary pleasures they might get from it, they ultimately do not like its effects. Doing your part says that you love all men and want to help them see the beauty in you through purity and not lust. Purity goes a long way. It’s not really synonymous with chastity. You can be pure and be sexually active in the context of marriage. Most guys deep down want a girl who will give them everything without inhibitions but only to them. If you give yourself to other men by inciting lust in their minds through the way that you dress, then you are not really saving yourself fully for your future husband. The Bible says that if a man looks at or thinks about another woman lustfully, then he is already committing adultery. In your own small way, by dressing modestly, you really are helping to tame lustful thoughts. It shows that you really care, and in turn, most “husband-material” guys will appreciate this a lot.

Dressing “down” gave me many heartaches. It attracted so many of the wrong type of guys. I’m glad that God was sovereign and landed me with an amazing stud who encouraged me to be modest-fashionably forward (even before we got married).

Check out this video by Jason Evert of Pure Love Club: