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Metal Mouth

May 27th, 2013

It’s… Music Monday! Well, not really. As much as I’d rather talk about metal music, I literally am going to talk about metal in your mouth. Let’s walk down memory lane and talk about BRACES. Although this may be an ad for teeth correcting, this is all based on personal (and thank God, historical) info.

mefamily

This was taken sometime in the mid-90s with family. Look at all the happy faces. Then look at mine. Check out that giant bow on my head, too.

PRE-METAL MOUTH

So who had metal mouth when they were kids? I certainly did. A lot of my friends from middle school did too. According to a statistic in 2008, 78% of the people who wore braces then were either children or teens. Before I actually had braces, I used to think they were so cool. There were these “candy braces” I used to get at my elementary school cafeteria. They were thin layers of translucent candy that you could stick to your front teeth, and they looked more like retainers. What was I thinking? Braces were unattractive—and all that sugar sitting on your teeth like that till it melts? Gross me out the door (Square Pegs reference)!

amylinker

Amy Linker without a bow but with braces (Sarah Jessica Parker with a bow and happily without braces) from the 80s show Square Pegs

Lisa_needs_braces_by_Simpsonix

Lisa Simpson with a bow (and braces). Source: Simpsonix

METAL MOUTH

Anyway, when I finally got my braces around middle school, they were nothing like I thought they were. I really did need braces, and my dentist told me I had to wear them for at least two straight years (hehe). Those things were not sweet (both literally and figuratively). They were abrasive and annoying. It was a bit difficult to close my mouth, to eat without getting food stuck between the metal, to smile without reflecting light at the camera, and not to worry about having rubber bands pop out. Oh, and they did all of that and more.

Sure, braces in your teens might be the best time to have them because of the timing as your teeth settle, but that is also the time of your life when you’re most insecure about changes (or lack thereof) in your body. To introduce these unsightly slabs of shiny railroad tracks to your already hormonal dotted face does not fare well in popularity contests.

racheldahl

Me with a smaller bow on my head in 2010

POST-METAL MOUTH

The godsend alternative to this monstrosity is Invisalign. As a lot of you probably already know, these are clear braces—virtually invisible. I would’ve been more confident and carefree if I’d had them. I’d have invisible teeth straighteners that were easy to eat with, easy to clean, and easy to do activities with. Although the cost is not too far off from orthodontic braces, you get to enjoy the added benefits of having shorter and fewer office visits (as well as less accidents from rubber bands, hoorah)!  Oh, I wish I had had them then!

To ask more about this wonderful alternative, you can look up qualified dentists and orthodontists via the Invisalign Doctor Locator. Not every medical professional is certified to give you a valid opinion. Before you go, you may want to see if you, your kids, or anyone you know is a good candidate for this treatment by taking the smile assessment.

Knowing they are both for kids and adults (just like traditional braces), I really want them even now. I never actually finished my orthodontics, because I moved to the U.S. and was supposed to redo my treatment and start fresh. It never happened, probably because money was tight and most especially because I did not want to have them on ever again. I even “lost” my retainers en route on a plane, because I just didn’t care for them!

FAMOUS METAL MOUTHS

who’re glad to be done with braces, I’m sure.

 bracesceleb

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post. However, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

P.S. The silly mention of bows were all unintentional until I saw the pattern after writing the post.

Invisalign: Web | Twitter | Facebook

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6 Responses to “Metal Mouth”

  1. justicepirate

    Now your instagrams all come together and make sense to me as to why you posted them. I never had to have braces, as my teeth are straight. Rob probably could have used them, but for the most part his teeth are straight. I hope my sons won’t need to get them, but because Micah is a thumb sucker, it is a possibility. Leto probably will be fine but we’ll see what happens! My middle school boyfriend had braces, but it didn’t bother me. Once he got them off in 8th grade (we were together for nearly a full year in 7th and 8th grade) it is as if the girls started noticing him (I was all, “back off my man!”) and his smile was so super perfect. Pretty intense how lovely the smiles are of most people I know who have had braces, and then I feel badly for the ones who have their lip sticking out because of braces though.
    I totally remember that Gwen Stefani picture everywhere when I was in my late teens!! I also remember seeing that Lisa Simpson episode (and I rarely ever watched the show at all). It was sad. Head gear was always a scary concept to me though and seemed so Sci-fi!

  2. Irina Gnatiuk

    Though I never had braces, It was pretty interesting to read.)

  3. Lubka Kotmanikova

    Its a pity that in the time when I was young we had no opportunity to have braces. My teeth are not straight and I think that orthodontic braces work nicely and make people a bit happier and more satisfied with how they look.

  4. oksana

    I had some analogue of them in my childhood! But since they were removable, I often took them away and put in my pocket :-) esp in school!!!

    ksyshenka(at)yahoo(dot)com

  5. Cheri S.

    Lol. Beyonce and Gwen Stefani with braces?? I’m kind of glad they don’t have them anymore. Total image breaker!

  6. S. Holeman

    I think my sister had one something like the invisalign (for a retainer) after 7 years of metal braces. (she started them really young, and then her teeth took extra long to all come in or something) She very unintentionally lost it though. (so careful! it’s like, almost invisible!) :]

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