À LA MODEST :: Conservative Indie Fashion Style Blogger - a la modest - a la mode st. - conservative indie style blog blogger

This christian lady kindly interviewed me (the Glam-pire? I guess…) for her blog. I thought it would be good to post this on here because there were a lot of things discussed that haven’t been mentioned on my own blog before.

All women want to please their husband. Has your modest clothing affected your relationship with your husband or others?

Modest clothing has made my relationship with my husband stronger and more meaningful. We are working as a team to reject the lust in our lives through our individual efforts. He tries his best to look away from and not dwell on sexual images and immodestly dressed women, and I try my best to dress modestly to aid in preventing other men from looking at me inappropriately. It is necessary for the husband and wife to do their part in honoring God through purity and to work together in this effort as with everything else. Lust insidiously devours marriages, and that is why it is effective for couples to openly discuss and work together to promote purity to as a way of dealing with anything that might potentially harm their relationship. My husband gets the benefit of having and enjoying me only for himself in private when I avoid dressing immodestly in public, and I get to trust and worry less about my husband with his thought life when he avoids any instance including media with visual sexuality and nudity. This doesn’t solve the problem of our lusting completely, but with God’s help, our obedience creates for a better marital atmosphere.

How do you think modest apparel has changed the ways others look and think about you?

My stand for modesty has definitely affected my relationship with others. I have received more respect from people in general because of my strong beliefs, but I have also received the cold shoulder from some. There are still others who get influenced by me in the fashion sense but not in the modesty sense. My clothing has affected people in so many different ways, and my reaction must be to ultimately try to please God and not be shaken, saddened, or flattered to the point of vanity.

Who or what is your greatest fashion influence?

My fashion influences come from independent thinkers and artists from various cultures and decades, contemporary and timeless art through music and film, and… Jesus. Some examples of my influences are Joshua Harris, author of Not Even a Hint (which talked about God’s ultimate standard of not having even a hint of lust), Björk, and my two ever so fashionable IT professors from college.

Tell us a little about your blog and upcoming boutique.

À la Modest is an indie and vintage fashion blog with the twist of modesty. It shows and tells of my experiences with sexual purity through my clothing along with tidbits of fashion inspirations through different forms of art. The boutique will hopefully be online in the fall and will have many of the same mix of indie and vintage clothes I wear. The clothes themselves will not only display my style but also my personal standards for modest clothing. Each piece of clothing will carry a name and suggestions on how to wear or style it.

Favorite online or real places to shop?

Because I don’t believe in the need to wear expensive clothes but rather in the expression of modesty and style, I like to shop in places that offer bargain prices. Besides my eventual own creations, these places include anywhere with a sale rack (may it be Charlotte Russe or H&M), Goodwill and other thrift stores, flea markets, indie clothing designers abroad, and online stores.

What do you think is the answer to the world’s constant skin parade?

There really is no one answer to eradicating immodesty everywhere, but prayer and living by example will be to great avail.

If you could say one thing to Christian ladies about clothing and fashion, what would it be?

The desire to dress modestly must come from deep in your heart and convictions. It does not come from being too rigid or religious but from a personal life-changing transformation, just like your faith. If you are modest just because of your upbringing, culture, or other people’s expectations, then it might not have as strong an effect on your heart as it is only in your mind. Do not be a lukewarm modest Christian woman. Be radical.

Any fashion and buying tips for those new to modest dress?

Modesty can also include modest means, so don’t buy anything too expensive just for the sake of style. Do not compromise modesty for style nor your budget for fashion. As for covering up: I believe the most important thing to remember is to conceal your chest, as it is one of the most sexual (and overexposed) parts of a woman’s body. To play it safe, make sure that your cleavage doesn’t show even when bending down (without pressing your hand against your chest), and don’t wear anything that hugs the body tightly. Skirt lengths, shorts, and pants are more debatable among many Christians. My own dress code excludes shorts and skirts above my fingertips (when standing) and skinny jeans. It is not for me to tell you a set standard, but I base my standards on experience and a bit of common sense, the input of godly men in my life (the foremost of course being my husband), and prayer and contemplation of scripture.

Check out last month’s giveaway winner wearing the lucite rings!


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31 Responses to “Interview with the Glam-pire”

  1. Saidah @ AProverbswife.com

    I really enjoyed reading this interview. You are such an inspiration and example. I stumbled this post and hope it receives plenty of traffic. also retweeted the post.

  2. melina bee

    no intention of entering a political discussion, only want to say I like you included bjork as a fashion icon. I never thought of her as modest before but now that I think about it, she is even though she is also very bold and flamboyant. Proves that ultimately style is about personal creativity more than anything

  3. Rachel @ a la Modest

    I don’t think Bjork is modest in her fashion, but what I really admire about her is the art in her bizarre clothing. A lot of my influences express themselves sexually, but what good I see in them is what makes all the difference. I also like a lot of music, and often times those artists inject a lot of sexuality in their lyrics. I just like the way I take music and transcend it visually into my clothing. Everybody does it in some form without them really thinking about it.

  4. diggchrist.com

    Interview with the Glam-pire | à la Modest…

    Interview with Rachel Dahl of à la Modest about her clothing choices….

  5. Tweets that mention Interview with the Glam-pire | à la Modest -- Topsy.com

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Saidah Washington, Saidah Washington and Indie Chic, Rachel Dahl. Rachel Dahl said: NEW POST: Interview with the Glam-pire http://bit.ly/beZLMu […]

  6. marie

    Thanks for sharing this interview! It was good to read. You are such an encouragement to me, I love your blog and your stand for modesty & christianity is a blessing!

  7. jemina

    LOVE your interview!!! have a wonderful day!!! xoxo

  8. Krystal/Village

    interesting to learn more about you!

  9. Victoria / Justice Pirate

    great interview!!

  10. Victoria / Justice Pirate

    P.S. Joshua Harris is one of my biggest influences too. I read his blog all the time even. I still need to read his latest book which is on apologetics and theology, but the Holy Spirit has used his writings to truly help encourage and influence me!!

  11. Rachel @ a la Modest

    He’s from Maryland, too! I still haven’t even gone to visit his church!

  12. Sher

    It’s lovely to read more about the reasons/beliefs behind your blog name! It actually explains a lot!!

    Definitely be radical:)

  13. Cheryl

    Rach, your interview was very insightful. Thanks for sharing it here. I really admire you for sticking to your principles and not be carried away by what the others are usually wearing.

    On a fashio-y note, I love those colorful jewels on your sandals! :)

  14. sweet

    I really had fun reading the interview..you did a pretty good job.

    I always love to visit your colorful site. and those jewels on the sandals are so amazing!!! I love it!!!

    take care love
    always
    Sweet
    PensandLens

  15. Brittan

    Just a question about your decision to not wear skinny jeans. Why do you feel these are inappropriate to wear? Because they are to tight on the legs or the behind? If legs, wouldn’t it then make sense to not show skin on your legs at all when wearing skirts and dresses? I don’t know if that makes sense…

    Reading your blog has given me a lot to think about as a christian. I grew up in the church and never felt I dressed inappropriately, but some of your standards have me re-examining mine…

    Thanks Rachel!

    xo

  16. Rachel @ a la Modest

    Hey Brittan! For skinny jeans, it’s they way they hug the butt and the thighs. I have a proportionally big butt (being pear shaped) compared to the rest of my body, so skinny jeans are even tighter on me than on the average body. I still own two pairs of skinny jeans, but I like to wear longer shirts or tunics with them :) Generally though, skinny jeans and skirt and shorts lengths (and many others) are debatable!
    I appreciate you asking!

  17. Elaine

    Fabulous interview. I agree with the first question and answer.

  18. ieatbugs

    How come you have to change your behavior in order to prevent men from behaving inappropriately? Why aren’t men responsible for their own behavior?

  19. Rachel @ a la Modest

    Yes, everyone is responsible for their own behavior—men and women. It is true that it’s the man’s fault in the end if he acts and thinks of a woman inappropriately, but it really does help to dress in a certain way that does not provoke inappropriate behavior and thoughts even more.

    If we all know that wearing cleavage shirts draw attention to cleavage, then we shouldn’t feel offended in the slightest if men stare at this area. We might think it’s okay to glance but not to stare. Just glancing is hard to control for guys especially, so covering up this area completely just makes it easier for them not to stare or glance at all.

    I don’t think men are enemies. Being visual is just how they are made, and that is not a bad thing unless they give in to temptation. If you think of them as brothers then you might be more inclined to help them in this way and not to make things harder for them than it is. It’s like not smoking around someone who has quit smoking or not drinking beer around someone who is an alcoholic. I dress modestly to help those around me.

  20. ieatbugs

    So you’re basing your behavior on the assumption that immodesty is a problem for most people and you need to help them overcome that. I think that’s a pretty big assumption, and rather forward of you to assume as well.

  21. Rachel @ a la Modest

    Immodesty and lusting is a big problem for most people. If it isn’t, I am certain that is a problem for me. I am capable of dressing immodestly and lusting as a an alcoholic is with beer. I will be honest with that and admit that I had a huge problem with it in my own life. Dealing with this issue resulted in my decision to dress modestly. I will not try to act pious because I was not brought up with this thinking, so my lifestyle today is not a result of blind following but rather, a result of hurtful personal experience and contemplation.

  22. Anone

    I agree; I think that women should dress modestly. I suggest a loose-fitting outer garment that doesn’t emphasize the shape of the body, yet allows for a flowing, almost ethereal image. A single color is ideal, such as black. In addition to this outer garment, adding a scarf around the hair is a perfect accessory, since many men find women’s hair particularly attractive — women don’t spend all that time and money on preparing their hair just to be unattractive, after all! Of course, this ignores the most important part of any woman’s appearance — the face! For true modesty, a light veil will help a woman be truly modest, and prevent men from accidentally lusting after you. I’m sure these tips will help all women be truly modest and Godly.

  23. Rachel @ a la Modest

    I will appreciate it more if you revealed who you are without me finding out for myself since I know for certain that you are the same person as the previous. I really couldn’t agree more with what you said here posting as “Anone”. There are different standards of modesty, and mine is obviously not the highest. I really admire those who work their best at it because it’s ultimately a heart issue more than a clothing issue. It’s not in the details but rather in the general goal to keep one’s dignity and to help be less of a distraction to people who try to avoid giving into temptation. Married men are probably the best example of people I want to detract attention from, and from experience, married men still have a lot of trouble looking away from women who are especially dressed provocatively vs women who aren’t.

  24. Anone

    I am not another person, but my description of a burqa is why assigning the control of “lust” to the object, rather than the subject, is perhaps misplaced. If one lusts after a car, do you change the car? If one lusts after food, does the food change itself? The natural form of a woman is nude; any male is aware of this. Any male is also aware that, under the clothes, most women are pretty similar — a few bumps or lumps are most of the difference. While I personally find women attractive, I do not lust — in this case “wish for sex with” — random women who show an inch of skin here or there. I am happy with my wife, despite our lack of religion. I agree that modesty is in the mind, rather than in the clothes — to me, that means that covering up implies that one feels one’s body is naturally immodest. I’m hardly pro-nudity, but consider the argument from a biblical sense — lust is a sin, which means that feeling lust makes one a sinner. Jesus resisted temptation despite being exposed to it — isn’t that the stronger message? Women should feel free to dress as they wish; if men fall into sin, the sin rests upon them.

  25. Natalie

    Loved this! Not Even a Hint is also my favorite book, really changed the way I thought of almost everything when I read it a few years ago. <3 You rock!

  26. Natalie

    “Lead us not into temptation”. Therefore I will try not to lead anyone’s eyes, mind, or body into temptation by revealing my body with tight clothing or low cut shirts. It’s in both of our hands as male and female to respect and honor each other.

    Also, you can lust after an object, such as a car, and it in no way means you “wish for sex with it”. Just desiring what is not yours and what God has not given to be yours but to someone else.

    Rachel, you rock…and I pray that you know how awesome you are to us all, keep sharing the Truth! <3

  27. Anone

    “James 1: 13-14 says, “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.” We are always ready to shift the blame. If we cannot blame God for temptation, we will say his sin is a sickness so as not to face the judgment. Sin is not a sickness, but a moral failure and we will have to face judgment. We may also blame others or our circumstances, which are not the cause of sin either. Sin comes from within us. It comes from dwelling on temptations rather than driving temptations from our minds. ”

    It is the male’s responsibility to drive temptation out of his own mind and heart. Facing sin and choosing piety is much stronger than simply avoiding it all; just like living without sin doesn’t guarantee salvation, correct?

  28. Rachel @ a la Modest

    Food and cars are inanimate objects that have no power to decide for themselves. We are given the free will, the choice to do moral choices based on our higher thinking. Comparing the decision to dress modestly as a result of our God-given mind to choose over what we conclude as right or wrong from what the Bible says is something no other creature or object can do.

    Yes, our bodies are naturally “immodest”, if you want to put it that way. Our bodies are born with sin, and that is what the Bible says. If it wasn’t, then Jesus’ dying on the cross would have no meaning whatsover. Adam and Eve were naked but then God covered them in full clothing (contrary to the popular believe of fig leaf underwear) because they were naked and ashamed of themselves. We enjoy our bodies naked within the confines of marriage because God allows and rejoices in this. Jesus was exposed to all kinds of sin but he didn’t partake in any of it. I do not alienate myself in the same way, but I do not partake in the clothing I know is too revealing. The “stronger message” you are saying is exactly the message I was saying— being IN the world but not OF the world is what the Bible says about that.

  29. Rachel @ a la Modest

    Anone, the passage you quoted is a popular verse used to justify acts that correlate with other acts. I never said, if you read carefully, that immodesty is a DIRECT causation of lust and that I blame the clothing or the women for this sin. Nobody is blaming anybody here. Only God can be the judge of that.

    If we let ourselves be exposed or partake in sin, then it is easier for most people to be caught in it. For those who are strong enough to resist this temptation, then good for them. I honestly am not one to call myself a strong person by my own means, so I will admit to my weakness of lusting. Lusting is not merely about “wanting to have sex”. It’s desiring something you do not have or is not meant to have, as Natalie said. Desiring is a heavier word than just admiring. It’s unavoidable and automatic to look at and admire women but it is a choice not to have their images linger in your head. THAT lingering desire is lust.

    As a man, would you admit that is harder to look away or drive away that lingering thought of a woman who is dressed with a really low-cut blouse vs a woman who had her chest covered up? The honest men I’ve talked to would say that woman #1 was harder to remove from their heads. Since you are married, I am sure that your wife wants your full sexual attention. This decision of mine and the values I am expressing in this blog are meant to HELP and not to BLAME.

  30. Rachel @ a la Modest

    Thank you so much for your support, Natalie! I appreciate your comment. It meant a lot to me. That book and many others really convicted me of my old ways. It took me a while to change my old habits, but God really did lovingly push me to this direction. It’s our job to be the salt and the light no matter what obstacle we face.

  31. Mono_S.

    Well, there’s certainly some interesting discussion going on here. I wish I’d come along sooner!

    That said, I really enjoyed the interview itself. It’s great to hear someone whose unafraid to stand strong on their beliefs, more people should be using blogs for just that purpose.
    (But then, you probably already know I think that!)

    So.. yes. It was really good to read this, thanks for posting it :)

    RAH! RAH! STYLE REVOLT!

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