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Friendly Facade

April 30th, 2011

This light blue kimono is just gorgeous! These pictures do not even do this dress justice. I wore this to the fashion event I was invited to speak at called Project Redesign. I took the opportunity to snap some pics outdoors around the campus of Mount de Sales because I can’t for the life of my camera take decent pictures indoors with low atmospheric lighting! If anyone is interested, I am selling this on eBay. Just like with all the other clothes I own: If I don’t sell them, I just happily wear them until they get sold. If a piece of clothing doesn’t get sold, then that piece and I were meant to be together. I may have to think of this as a spiritual connection…

I’ve been noticing that lately I can hardly put up with people who stay away from communication. It’s one thing to be extremely busy and to apologize for the lack of communication, and it’s another thing to be extremely busy and ignore someone’s invitation to communicate. So today I’m going to turn a rant into constructive criticism of the “friendly facade.” That title is actually from the song that my husband wrote in his old band The Turtle Neck Store. I really like it (of course), so I have embedded the mp3 below, if you’ll have a listen!

: The Turtle Neck Store – “Friendly Facade”

I am not going to use this blog to talk about specific people, and I advise you not to use your blogs or anything—or anyone for that matter—to address a problem you have with someone. Go talk to the person. This is an entry about communication, and that means you should try not to use other mediums to talk to the person indirectly about your problem. I realize that I may be ironically doing this very thing, but I have and am planning to speak with the people I have in mind. Ladies (and some gentlemen), gossiping may feel so good, but it never really solves anything—it will probably make your relationship with the person in question even worse.

I may not be the most accessible person to hang out with, but whenever I get an invitation to spend quality time with someone, I try my best to prioritize that relationship over tasks. I admit that I am not great at it; however, I advise you to try your best to respond to people when they address you directly (to be distinguished from e-mail forwards and other time wasters), whether it be through a phone call, a text, an e-mail—even through Facebook messages. Think about how you may hurt someone’s feelings by ignoring a “what’s up?” or a “happy birthday” text. I really would like to blame the Internet for distracting everyone from the real world by making interaction less personal through its proliferation of mass communication. It’s really not that hard to take a few minutes to respond back to people you personally know (even people you don’t really know but are sincerely addressing you).

It’s hard to reply to e-mails that are incredibly long, but if you kindly let the person know that you received their e-mail and that you will reply at a later time because you want to read their words thoroughly, it leaves both parties satisfied. In the blogosphere, it truly is hard to return every comment, especially if the comment looks generic. Bloggers, just do the best that you can whenever you can.

I should’ve been in a Japanese garden. I just didn’t feel like Photoshopping that in. It would’ve been the perfect setting to go along with these words of wisdom.

Below you’ll find a somewhat related video to this entry. It’s a video of my speech at Project Redesign. The audio is horrible and so was my delivery. That is the result of staying up too late working on midterms the night before. I also probably do poorly when I cannot see people’s faces (due to the bright spotlights in a dim room) when I talk to them. It was nice, though, that a few people from the audience approached me later to thank me for that speech. I’m glad some people still understood what this dear in the headlights was trying to say

Up next: Another giveaway on the next post. Think SWIM!


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24 Responses to “Friendly Facade”

  1. For Those About To Shop

    Because of this post I am going to contact a couple of friends who have been trying to pin me down for coffee. Thanks for the reminder!

  2. Natasha Atkerson

    What a pretty kimono! Unfortuantley, it wouldn’t fit me! :)

    Your communication ‘vent’ was great! I feel like I’m always carrying the weight in my friendships, I do the calling constantly, and carry the conversation. It would be nice to tell them what I think, but that would be bad! *GRIN* Oh well! Sinnful people get on each other’s nerves! What can you say?
    A Modest Fashion Blog:

  3. Closet Fashionista

    Oooh love the dress! :D

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  5. Krystal/Village

    ok now you have me hoping i didn’t inadvertently blow off an email from you, haha!! (no really, i hope not?). but, I know what you are saying, it can be frustrating when someone forgets to write back to you. I’m probably guilty of this though, also, unfortunately..

  6. Krystal/Village

    oh and p.s. you always look awesome, ha! (re: your comment on mine)

  7. Natasha

    lovely individual dress :)

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  9. Lisa

    Rachel, absolutely love the dress! And thanks so much for the words of wisdom.

  10. Katia

    You are amazing!!!!
    +1 chic! ;)

  11. Romyn

    Love it!! Great coloring & Photo:)

  12. Violet

    Great dress!!!

  13. Regina D

    wow!! you’re simple wonderful in this kimono =D

  14. Victoria G

    Es precioso!!!

  15. Rachel @ à la Modest

    Hi Natasha,

    I think you should tell people what you think. It’s even okay to express your anger or disappointment, but just like the bible says, “in your anger, do not sin.” Also, it says “do not easily be offended.” So you kind of have to decide if someone or what someone did to you is really bothering you. If it is, then let them know in their face—but ever so gently! Never accuse because we don’t know what people’s motives are. So tell them how you feel first because of something you think they may have done or are doing without accusing them. You can also ask. It’s better to get things out in the open because if you don’t, those things turn ugly with all the assumptions and back talk and ill feelings…

  16. Rachel @ à la Modest

    Haha, I don’t think I’ve ever e-mailed you—but it’s always good to play it safe and ask, right? Haha! Smart move! I think you’re actually one of the more thoughtful bloggers out there—even though you don’t owe people anything, you seem to really like to give back (in the form of comments lol)! I doubt you are a snob in real life (rather, offline) if you are so nice online! But yeah, mouse clicks are always easier than giving people a call or hanging out! It’s just how it is sadly!

  17. Zane

    this kimono is really one of a kind, love it

  18. Lyddiegal

    I like the kimono. it’s a very costumey piece though, i think i’d have trouble styling it.
    love it on you though!

  19. Ychie

    nice kimono..really fits u.. love the hairstyle too.. voted =D

  20. sweet

    my internet connection doesn’t play the video…still waiting for the permanent connection soon…so hopefully I can check out your posts regularly babe!!!!

    I love the kimono it fits you perfectly…


  21. Rachel @ à la Modest

    Thank you for that follow up comment :) Haha.

  22. Victoria/Justice Pirate

    gorgeous kimono!!! I love it. I agree that gossip is yucky. I am one who approaches people to tell them my feelings on things. I hope I didn’t forget to respond to any of your emails?? eek. I am pretty good with communicating though. ;)

    I can’t hear you in the video because my boys are jumping all over the place by me and are a little loud so I apologize. I’ll have to listen to it another time.

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  24. Mafalda C.

    That kimono is a wowzer <3
    I've been in your shoes about this, and all there is to it is knowing when to back away so you don't get hurt… Unfortunately we can't really change people, just keep ourselves from getting hurt.

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