Body Shape Diagram Sham

Just so you know, this isn’t going to be a body shape 101 post. I am assuming you already know what you are or have.

You know how ridiculously unflattering some of these body shape diagrams are? I mean, instead of making you love your own body, those actually make you feel sick inside. And we’re expected to love our own bodies? The above picture is a fairly acceptable representation of the different bodies. Below however, might apply to some apples and pears but discounting all the other skinnier apples and all the other ample breasted pears. So when you think back and look at all the other body types, you immediately think that they’re all imperfect and even disgusting except the hourglass.

But I guess they have placed women with smaller breasts and big hips in the category of a “spoon” or a “triangle”—adequately diversifying the pear-shaped woman and helping the pears with ample bossoms and slightly wider nice child-bearing hips (the classic woman shape) find their niche in this modern bananas world. Thus, they have made alternate versions of the body type diagram to represent us all better—just like how the diagram deus corrected the food pyramid that once forced us all to eat mostly those killer carbs. Okay, so maybe the rest of us non-hourglass-shaped women are just in denial. However, some of the physically coveted and gorgeous women out there aren’t exactly hourglass. (I won’t name the celebrities. I’m sure some of you can just do a Google search on that…or not, if you’re like me and don’t give a flippin flop about that kind of thing unless those people have changed my life somehow.)

I am a pear but not skinny on top. What are you?