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Abolishing Abortion

May 10th, 2011

I want to introduce you to a fellow steam punk and style enthusiast Don that I met through the blogosphere. He has amazing steam crafts for sale on his Etsy, which I highly recommend you check out. Just about a couple of weeks ago, he put up a series of photos taken from a pop-up book he made called Life. You may read his post here. It’s an interesting and artfully dark take on his ill-favored conception, justifiably filled with anger towards his parents’ rejection of him. He agreed to have me interview him about his strife as an abortion survivor, and I coaxed him not to hold anything  back (though I’m sure he did). It’s probably not fair that I lead these questions in a very biased (pro-life) way, but I can’t deny that I write with an agenda—in fact, most people do, though they may not claim it.

Rachel: I have heard little of abortion survivors, and I’ve never actually known one until I met you. Can you explain how you were able to survive this senseless operation?

Don: Abortion survivor syndrome (ASS) is only a new term and can refer to parents who abort, their living children and to the actual survivors of abortion. I am classified as an ‘ambivalent survivor’ –as in I was not wanted by my parents, abortion was considered and my mother considered killing herself while I was a foetus. This was confessed to me by my mother weeks before she died. This left a massive scar on my emotional state that only recently I have come to accept and acknowledge.

Rachel: From the artwork that you made, it seems that you feel a lot of anger towards your mother. I don’t blame you for how you might feel. I don’t support the freedom given to women to abort—in any circumstance. That said, how much do you know of your parents?

Don: My father confessed to me that he almost killed my half brother by throwing him into a river out of vengeance and my mother gave up her first child for adoption. I did feel a lot of anger towards both my parents-now I just feel sorry for them. The fact that I hated my blood so much actually manifested in ITP (idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpure) a rare blood condition where I was bleeding from the inside out.

Rachel: Some of the women I’ve talked to who are pro-choice say that mothers who choose to abort not only think of themselves. They say they also think of the future of the child and how they would not want the child to live in an environment where there is no father or they have to have someone else as a father. This was their response to my suggestion of giving up children for adoption instead of killing them. Honestly… what bull. In your opinion, is there any valid reason at all for a woman to have an abortion?

Don: I think women that abort are only thinking of themselves. Why are they pregnant in the first place? Why did they have sex in the first place? Why did they choose that person to have sex with? The easiest thing a woman can do is open her legs. I think there are very few legitimate reasons for an abortion. Maybe in a sexual assault situation but that would be about it.

Rachel: I believe that the greatest works of an artist are inspired by something very personal and deeply emotional—such as a tragic experience. Would you say that part of your drive to create art isfrom the hurt of abandonment?

Don: I found art and the fantasy world in my head a very safe and comforting place to be from an early age. I really did need something to cling to and escape into. Then I used my art as a way of being accepted by the world. Now I use my art as a voice.

Rachel: There is no denying that you will inevitably carry your mother’s genes for the rest of your life unfortunately. This might be the most personal question here, so feel free to decline. Do you see some personal flaws in yourself that you believe may be a reflection of the kind of woman she is—such as, the tendency to want to leave relationships or to have little regard for the feelings of others or the effect of your personal decisions on others?

Don: My mother (and father) was very cold emotionally and not physically warm. Up until very recently I was pretty disconnected from other people and I did bail on many relationships. I used to be very cold and hard- I pretty much hated myself so it was easy to hate others. Also I felt I had to ‘protect’ myself by keeping people away in a very nasty and aggressive way. My motto was ‘kill or be killed’ and I never knew why I felt like that. It was only when all the pieces were put together that I realised what I had been my whole life.

Rachel: Some people alter their actions based on the flaws that they see in others. Because you see that your mother’s decision was a big flaw, in what ways has this knowledge changed you for the better in treating yourself and others?

Don: Once I accepted what I was and why I had lived my life with this anger and aggression I can now embrace who I really am. Gone are all the addictions I used to shield myself with for a start. Twenty five years of (chronic) pot and cigarette smoking gone. Twenty years of heavy drinking gone.

I have a wonderful relationship with my eighteen year old son and my life has dramatically improved since I realised the anger and fear I had had felt since before I was born. I also have a partner of ten years instead of a record period of six months.

Art has helped me process the anger towards my parents and I have allowed myself to be reborn. In a way I had to start from scratch.

Funny, I also realised recently why my favourite song ever is Patrick Hernandez Born To Be Alive. It is the ultimate abortion survivor song.

This list of images drives the point home that an actual child is being killed….

 


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18 Responses to “Abolishing Abortion”

  1. Heidi

    Great interview! The only reason I see for abortion is if there was a sexual assault or the mother’s health is in danger.

  2. Krystal/Village

    don! rachel! this was a great set of questions and answers. it was interesting to read more after seeing the art work. thanks for doing the interview. you both are wonderful people

  3. Rachel @ à la Modest

    Krystal, I think we pretty much talk to the same people because I see your comments to to other people everywhere!! It’s either that or you just know everybody. lol.

    Thanks!

  4. alexis

    First off, excellent interview
    i won’t share my reasoning for being pro-life (unless you want!) but i think this is so incredible. his story, and how he shares it. wow. and that .gif made of all his artwork, is so mesmerizing.

  5. Victoria/Justice Pirate

    This was very very interesting. I am glad you brought this topic up. It is sad that so many people want to hush people up when they speak up for life, especially someone like this guy who had a brother put up for adoption. It is great that his brother had a chance to live at all. Did he ever meet him?
    This art is very interesting because it is personal and not just “a thought”.
    I do think that a lot of the people in our lifetime are very selfish. They always think about “me me me” and hardly about those that they might have an impact on or who they are responsible for, or the fact that they don’t even want to claim that they are responsible for anything at all.
    The hearts of many have grown cold, and it is very sad that anyone would make a justification for destroying a child. THEY KNOW A FETUS BECOMES A BABY . . yet they still make lame excuses for it being some sort of disease that they can and should control. It kills me so much to think about how people stand up for abortion. Great interview. It was interesting.

  6. Victoria/Justice Pirate

    To Heidi, My health was in danger at one point when I was pregnant with my firstborn son. I would have given up my life for him to be alive. Thankfully things worked out completely. If I were to die, I would have been happy now that I have seen how beautiful my now 4 year old is. Let life live. I believe if a woman is going to die, let it be honorable like giving life to someone fresh like a baby.

    As for sexual assaulted women, I have read many accounts of women who have raised their children who were results of rape, and they love and adore these children completely. They do anything to try to show them love. I often hear of people saying, “but I will see my rapist’s face in my child.” but these women have proved that when they look at their children, all they see is beauty and a reason to love them more. Out of every 1,000 aborted babies, supposedly .01% of them are aborted when a woman is raped. While there are also people like many victims of human trafficking/modern day slavery who are forced to give abortions by their oppressors, and this is often much harder for them to reflect on and feel pain in than if they were to at least have something to show love since they don’t even receive love. It gives them a reason to live. When they are forced abortions all they want is to die even more. Just some food for thought.

  7. For Those About To Shop

    That’s so terrible that his mother felt the need to confess that to him before she died.

  8. Shey

    oh my…I’ve been through everything, I used to be “pro-choice” before I came to know God, then I became the accuser who used to point and look down at the girls who did and say “how dare!” Now I still believe that abortion is wrong, it’s horrible thing to do, it’s murder, I had a choice and I’m so glad even as far as I was from God he led me to make the right choice and keep my child, he is such a blessing and I could never think of life without my son. I also think that God forgives those who repent from committing this type of murder. I can’t imagine all the pain that it is for some women, especially fo those who don’t have a choice but to abort a baby unwillingly.

  9. Elaine

    This was such a heartbreaking yet honestly revealing post. It gave me shivers that this man is a product of a FAILED abortion and that it has affected him in more ways than one.

  10. Rachel @ à la Modest

    Great thoughts, Victoria!

    As a testimony on my life and my mother’s as well, my mom had an abnormal bleeding condition (still has it) around the time I was being born. Her doctor told her to basically abort me because she wouldn’t have survived all that bleeding. I forgot to mention it in this post, but that is the story of my birth. My parents call me the “miracle child” because not only did I survive the operation, my mother did as well. I should remember that story every time I am tempted to think of suicide or just wasting my life on senseless things. If I let my mind go there, it would be like a slap on God’s face, saying that miracle shouldn’t have happened.

    That is interesting to read about your comment on rape. I agree with you as well—even though this is a really tough situation. The child would be innocent in a rape situation and had nothing to do with the crime. To punish that baby for the father’s doing is like sacrificing an already born innocent child for the sake of someone else’s wrongdoing.

  11. Rachel @ à la Modest

    Alexis, if you feel like sharing, why not? I always like to hear other people’s thoughts ESPECIALLY if they’re agreeing with me! Haha. I am very much pro life.

  12. Tawny

    Rachel – great interview
    Don – my heart brakes for you.

    I’m adopted.I guess you could say most of us lucky kidos who got a chance at life are abortion survivors.

    Being adopted, and so thankful EVERY DAY that my mommy chose me & my biological mother didn’t abort, I am extremely pro-choice. Had abortion been as easy to obtain & socially “acceptable” 25 years ago as it is today, I would most likely not be here. In many ways, I am incredibly lucky to be alive! I overcame many odds before my first year of life. God must have a plan for me!

    I need to share my adoption story sometime on my blog. I’m even lucky enough to have a relationship with my biological siblings!

  13. Tawny

    I agree. Great thoughts ladies!

  14. Tawny

    Correction: PRO LIFE!!! I’m not sure how I made such a BIG typing error!

  15. Lisa

    I too was adopted when I was a month old. My mom had a hard time deciding, but at the end of 4 weeks, she decided to make the ultimate sacrifice. I met her and thanked her 27 years later and will be eternally grateful that I had the chance to live. Abortion in the 60’s among Catholics was very rare – thank goodness. Now it’s a whole different story.
    Thank you Rachel. Thank you Don for begin so brave to share this with Rachel.

  16. Cheryl

    Being PRO LIFE, my heart always bleeds when I hear or read about women finding it so easy to have an abortion because of unwanted pregnancy. Whatever happened to morality and social responsiblity?

    What an insightful interview for a very sensitive topic. Thanks for sharing this with us, Rach!

  17. Rachel @ à la Modest

    Hi Lisa,

    Thank you for sharing! I’m glad that your mother decided against abortion. You seem to have turned out a thoughtful person!

  18. Rachel @ à la Modest

    Hi Cheryl,

    Thanks for your response! Well, morality is relative to many people, sadly. What is right for others is not right for everyone, which I firmly disagree on. People who support abortion are big fans of the freedom of choice, which is not necessarily a bad thing—but as all things, it can be abused. Abortion is an abuse to freedom.

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