À LA MODEST :: Conservative Indie Fashion Style Blogger - a la modest - a la mode st. - conservative indie style blog blogger

2013alamodest

2012 hasn’t really been much, blog-wise, so I  put together a few random outfits from years past. I have to make up for all the missing New Year recaps somehow! :-) Feel free to visit my old outfit posts for the full images.

2013: From à la Modest to à la Mode St.

…why the name change? 

 

It’s like calling myself “good” when no one is truly good, “righteous” when no one is righteous (Romans 3). Only, this title is attached to my domain name.

I admit that I am not perfect, and I cannot be the shining example to all who are modest dressers.

Humbly, I am a work in progress. I am nothing without grace.

This might sound a little cliché (which I absolutely HATE), but only God can truly know what is in my heart.

The most hurtful comments I’ve gotten this year were from people who claim to be modest, rebuking without love, insulting without giving suggestion.

That kind of correction has always caused me to rebel, but I am not saying that I am right to do so.

I went though very difficult times within my own marriage, challenging my own beliefs in the system of faith, patriarchy, and modesty.

The two, patriarchy and faith, were the reasons for my choice of dressing conservatively (in that order).

I need to realize that my husband is not my god and act on it.

My personal decisions should come from inspiration and not from fear. I have always learned better that way.

Am I going to dress like how I used to before à la Modest? Not entirely. Not even close. My journey with modesty has taught me many things, and I shall keep many of them.

I will do my best to respect my husband and love him, despite his imperfections. I am not any better.

In here, you are loved no matter how you dress.

We dress in a certain way for a certain reason, but we must not be a threat to one another. We must love each other and let each other practice what we believe in without hate. Do not invoke fear. Inspire. Let others follow you, because of it. Be it modest, be it goth, be it hippie.

Welcome to  à la Mode St., my dear friends.

 

Love and joy,

Rachel Dahl

 


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12 Responses to “2013: From à la Modest to à la Mode St.”

  1. Cameron

    And you don’t even have to get a new URL. :)

    I look forwarding to seeing where this new direction takes you through 2013. May it be all that you want it to be.

  2. Victoria / Justice Pirate

    I think it is sad that people would be unloving in their comments, but I have been able to get to know you well so I know your heart better than a bunch of those who see only the outside of you. I can understand though. . . this is partly why I stopped writing at Ruby-Eyed Okapi. . .because I saw too many legalistic people and had too many negative people saying things and a lot of it was hurtful and a personal attack when I was just in obedience to God, and showing Him my love by how I dress. . .maybe I was not as modest as they wanted me to be. I only say things to you out of concern but I think my love comes through those things (and if not, let me know).

  3. urbandon

    Good for you! Sorry you received negative and non-constructive comments. Clearly that says more about them than you.
    Best wishes for the new year and on your new blog. X

  4. Rachel Dahl

    Exactly :) Couldn’t afford to start from scratch, really.

    Thank you!

  5. Rachel Dahl

    I didn’t even know you stopped writing there. Did all the other contributors stop as well?

    I would think you’d have more non-modest dressers criticizing REO, because it has mostly just writing about modesty and not so much pictures of style, right? I don’t remember seeing anything objectionable.

    I know you well, so your comments were welcomed. I was talking mostly about complete strangers just being so rude.

  6. Rachel Dahl

    The negativity was definitely a reflection on them. I wouldn’t even dare criticize someone like that without feeling shameful and disgusted by what I did. I can’t claim who deserves bad criticism, unless I know a pretty good deal about the person and have heard from the person myself. A lot of the people who left awful comments had never spoken to me before, to my knowledge.

    Happy new year to you as well!

  7. Elisa

    That’s one of the things I like about you, you might be conservative, but in a respectful and kind way to the other people.
    I actually don’t get why you even got close to my blog in the first place, since it is not “modest” and it doesn’t even touch topics like “family”, “God” or “modesty” in clothing.
    But I do like the way you dress, your style, and everyone must admire your ability to dress as you like even though respecting certain principles.
    So, keep your head high and go on on your very own path lady!
    (by the way, thank you for the compliments on my portfolio, it is nothing special yet, since most of the works I have done are as an assistant and not as proper designer! But hey, one must start somewhere!)
    xxx :*

  8. Rachel Dahl

    Hi Elisa,

    I had only really started dressing “modestly” right before I met my husband, because of how he told me women should dress in order to “help” men not have lustful thoughts they don’t necessarily want to have because of various reasons like wanting to be pure for a religion (God), because they are in a committed relationship (married or not), or because they have a serious sex addiction (he went through a recovery program). My husband’s reasons were all three, and as a loving wife I tried to dress and believe in modesty as much as I could handle it and make sense of it. For the most part, I got it. Then recently more and more things happened in our relationship that didn’t quite support what I was doing with my decision and with his, so I have recently reevaluated on some things here and there (like this post said), regardless of what my husband thought. Like his addiction started coming back while I was trying my best to not dress how I used to (“immodestly”), and that hurt our relationship so bad. I wasn’t really enjoying modesty, but it was just one of those things I felt like it was my duty to do so I had to believe I was really into it in order to make sense of what I was doing. My reasons were totally out of fear, insecurity, and control. I feel like I shouldn’t really be telling people how to dress if my reasons were because I was afraid of what my husband would do. Sadly, that was what was on my mind those 3 years, and I decided that it should stop—at least some of it.

    I think someone’s sense of style remains the same regardless of their being conservative or not. I found though that I didn’t like the styles that a lot of modest dressers (who had probably been long modest before I was) liked, and I had always had a particular taste, though ever evolving. I gravitate towards blogs like yours, because though I don’t dress McQueen or Bowie-esque, I really like your theme. That will always be the same for me, no matter what “moral” or “religious” decision I make. I had always liked dark themes before I got married (and started even thinking about modesty), and I will like it after. If a religious person thinks that’s wrong, then that is just plain legalistic.

    Good luck on building a name for yourself in London! I’ll have to check out those short films where you styled the wardrobe. If I ever get disappointed with the film quality or style, I can at least enjoy the work YOU put into it!

  9. Elisa

    Oh! I didn’t get that this was depending on your husband so much. Reading your blog I understood something about the whole “modesty” thing, but I honestly know nothing this thing because of something that is not about you, but is about a man’s own issues and beliefs. I’m obviously no one to judge and I even admire you because you must have such a strong will and love to change your habits so much for your relationship!
    All I can say in this moment is that you are absolutely right to do what your heart tells you to, and that you shouldn’t even think about hateful comments, cause that’s what happens on the internet.
    And none of your relationship’s issues should ever end on this blog, because that’s a private thing and people don’t and won’t ever know nothing about it!

  10. Elisa

    Ooops it looks like it deleted a line! :
    “… but I honestly know nothing about it and I’m atheist even, so I don’t get why one would ever do this thing because of something that is not about you, but is about a man’s own issues and beliefs.”

    I’m talking an awkward English right now I don’t even know why haha maybe it’s because it’s 3 am and I should definitely sleep!

  11. Rachel Dahl

    I forgot to say, your real name Elisa is a good name :) Not sure where Vivian came from! I changed my last name sometime ago for online purposes, but it was still sort of my name (RED) because they were actually my initials.

    Thank you for your words. It’s nice to know that some people out there are not as cold as the others who pretend to be all “good.” It’s really hard to love someone, because you really are giving a part of yourself away. As long as it’s mutual, it’s a beautiful picture of sacrifice. I wish I could live by my promises all the time, but there’s always that part of love which says, I love you even if you mess up.” That’s what I’m trying to do with my husband, and it’s definitely changing me.

  12. brisallie

    Personally I’m not sure if they’re rules of how to wear modesty, but if they’re, I think you’re someone who try to add your own style and break some rules. And I like that, so just be yourself and don’t listen to those negative comments, because you’re the only one who know how is your relation with your beliefs.

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